Having had Valentine’s Day just pass by there is lots of love happening this time of year. Luckily this Valentine’s was better than most having had my own personal growth in relationships.
What motivated me to write this blog post was to help others with things I have struggled with in the past. It wasn’t until a few years ago I realized I was consistently falling for the same type of person. I tended to get involved in the same addictive relationships again and again with dominant and possessive men. In some relationships I knew something wasn’t ‘right’ but couldn’t put my finger on what it was. After much research and personal growth I realized I attracted sociopaths.
Sociopaths are all around us, they can be male or female and in the book “The Sociopath Next Door” it states that 1 in 25 people are sociopaths. Now what is a sociopath? The direct definition is a person with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitude and behaviour and lack of conscience. Now, I’m not a psychologist but when I was going through this I went to one and she never imparted any wisdom or knowledge to me about this. I had to learn on my own through my own research just exactly what I was dealing with. So to help others in their relationship I have put together a top ten list of warning signs for individuals who feel something is off in their relationship.
1. Charismatic and Charming
Sociopaths will constantly flatter you and make you feel good about yourself, especially in the beginning. He/she will be amazing company and light up your life. It is very exciting and thrilling to be around them.
2. Delusions of Grandeur
Sociopaths have delusions of grandeur, and often feel entitled to certain positions, people, and things. They believe that their own beliefs and opinions are the absolute authority and disregard the opinion of others.
3. Magnetic Persona
Sociopaths use poetic language and are able to carry on long monologues or stories that are hypnotic and capture the attention of those around them.
4. Huge ego
All sociopaths are narcissists, but not all narcissists are sociopaths. They will brag about all of their success in their past (whether true or not) and talk of big business plans and brag about how good looking or smart they are.
5. They play victim
Obviously all this ego would be off putting if they never played the victim role. They will try to make you feel sorry for them for their bad childhoods or evil ex’s. It’s all designed to evoke pity and sympathy from you and to make him/her seem vulnerable or weak and so you will share your vulnerabilities too (and use this against you in the future). It builds a false sense of trust and fake bond as they cannot form genuine bonds.
6. Sexually magnetic
Sociopaths have a high level of testosterone. They can last a long time in the bedroom and are very romantic. You will feel as though this is your soul mate. The sexual chemistry is amazing.
7. Compulsive liar, manipulative, deceptive
Sociopaths compulsively lie. Nothing is ever the truth. In fact, it makes them feel uncomfortable telling the truth. When you catch them in a lie they will lie further to protect the lie.
8. Parasitic Living Pattern
Asks to ‘borrow’ money from you but will never repay you.
Big plans of the future but doesn’t really have a plan. His/Her plan is living off of you.
Even high functioning sociopaths like some politicians use tax payers money for their own expenses.
9. Lack of remorse, guilt, or empathy
They will never feel sorry for anything they have done to you. (Cheated, stole, lied etc) and will make you feel like its something you caused. It’s never their fault.
Will accuse you of things they are doing themselves. If they accuse you of cheating, they are cheating. If they say you are selfish, they are actually selfish wanting you to revolve your thoughts on them and only them.
So there you have it! A full list of sociopathic traits. If you have just gotten through a divorce, a break up or currently in a relationship that is holding you back in your life and require a life coach for guidance and motivation to move forward in life with new aspirations and goals, please contact me!